by Khris

I have seen U2 since Conspiracy of Hope through Joshua Tree, Zoo, Pop, etc. always getting the maximum number of Propaganda tickets and following them around, and from that experience and attending 4/21 (in the heart) and 4/17 ("GC"), I have to say that there's something about this tour that's so intimate and moving that it's transcendent rock and roll, even more so than when I thought my heart would burst during the desperate need for political action in the 80's and U2's anthems that kept us writing letters and marching. Last night (4/20), and in San Diego, the band was not only working so hard to give us a *amazing* show, and a good time, but to be a little more "real", and bring the message home to each of us as an individual. The humor (Bono :"For an entire lunch hour we were known as 'The Larry Mullen Band') and responsiveness to people's requests (like doing "Kite" after all the S.D. signs) are indicative not just of intelligent showmanship (give the people what they want), but of above-and-beyond commitment to the fans, as we have been comitted to them. I didn't attend 4/19 SJ but my husband did and said the crowd wasn't as hyped as SD, where we almost broke out into "40". In the beginning of the 4/20 SJ, I felt lower energy as well, and I felt badly for the band, worried that they wouldn't be getting from us what we got from them. Then, the set changed and Bono said he was feeling "swell" (a pep-talk in disguise for us fans, I think), knowing just the right thing to say to get everyone's heart (and mouth) open. We must have sang 10 refrains of (all I want is) YOU-HOO! and Bono loved it, motioning to the crew on stage to hold up for a while while we serenaded him, until they finally started "Streets" and we quieted down. What rocks my world is that while Bono's awash in such a swell of frenzied adoration, he (and the band) continue to be focused on the mission: good music, a good show for us, and good work in the world (inciting us to continued action re: Jubilee 2000, he said in SJ 4/20 "an entire continent is being flushed down the toilet, and no-one gives a shit"). Being in the heart (THANK YOU San Jose Arena Line Control for an *excellent* job!), I saw the pores on his face, when he was tired, embarassed, overwhelmed, and I finally connected that this man (and Edge; Larry and Adam were on stage so much that they still just seem like 'guys on stage' to me) is a real person, that he walks and sleeps and eats. People give lip service to this idea, pretending that they're not subject to the cult of celebrity, saying "well, he/she goes to the bathroom, too, ya know", but to really GET that one man (and his 3 friends) can have such a huge impact on the world, and have such integrity, and yet to still only be ONE MAN, means that each of us, one man or woman, has not only the power but the responsibility and ability to connect to the divine. Bono's vulnerability in this show made him real (not just a "star") to me. In SD 4/17 and SJ 4/19 he said "Did you come here to play Jesus?...'cause I did", yet in SJ 4/20 said "Did you come here for forgiveness...'cause I did" - did he forget his joke's timing or intentionally say that? I was pretty annoyed with the "Golden Circle" ticketing fiasco (not giving Propaganda subscribers information on what it meant) and disappointed in songs like "New York", and even reticent to attend these shows (after years of dedication!). Yet my post-idealistic, older and more scarred heart was opened up and refreshed by such good work by the band, such dedication, and such commitment. Inspired and humbled, I shed my skin in 3 hours and came home to pray and write some letters to the IMF. Thank you, U2. Grace, it's a name for a show.

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